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Weiss Kreuz Badfic of the Moment

administering smackdown since october 2005

the white huntress
raison d'etre:

Weiss Kreuz Badfic: Because Pretty Boys are Bad News.

As someone who has long had a downer on Mary Sue fanfiction in all its shapes and forms, and who is also of the opinion that Weiss Kreuz fanfiction was overdue for a cleanup on aisle three, I was intending to try and make a journal to report Weiss Sues only to come to realize that wouldn't have even started to address the problem. Not when Mary Sues are nothing but another symptom of the horrible disease that is Badfic. Badfic comes in all shapes and sizes. Lame 'whacky' comedies, horrible and ill-conceived slash, tasteless tales of rape and torture, over-the-top deathfics, terrible porn, the hideousness that is MPREG - you name it, Weiss Kreuz suffers with it. It's high time someone said something.

This journal is no longer being regularly updated: you can only say 'your special snowflake of a neat new character is just like all the other special snowflakes Weiss have had aimed at them since 2005' in so many ways, after all. Reports are still posted on an as-and-when basis, but for various personal reasons I'd rather not go into here it's simply no longer possible for me to sustain a weekly schedule any more.

Please note that, since I can't snark about canon violations when I'm not quite sure what the canon thinks it's doing in the first place, I will not be sporking fanfiction inspired by the Weiss Side B manga. I own Weiss Side B, but my inability to find any decent manga translations has me near as dammit totally unable to work out what's going on - I can't read Japanese, so I'm really just staring at Ken and wondering how in Hell he knows those soccer players in volume four. Anything else, though, is and will remain fair game. Yes, I have now seen Weiss Kreuz Gluhen, and I utterly loved it so, Gluhen badficcers, this spork now has your names engraved on it too...

Thank you to everyone who's read and enjoyed my posts over the years.

ratings system:

Mediocre: This fic isn't so bad. It's more samey than anything, and could very well be redeemed with a little time and attention. The author is probably a tolerable writer but somewhere along the line they're letting themselves down. A few revisions might help, but the thing's basically sound.

Poor: Your average badfic. I'm sure you mean well, ficcer, but you really need to think a little harder about the story you're telling and the way you're trying to tell it - not to mention the series canon. Chances are this fic is boring, too, as it's not even bad enough to be worth trying to hate...

Appalling: This is getting messy. A variety of badfic traits, such as OOC nonsense, an inconsistent or bizarre plot, cultural myopia or presentation problems, are raising their ugly heads. This fic is pretty damn bad. The best thing you can do is ditch this and start over. And THINK next time.

Disastrous: Ouch. This fic hurt me. I'm not sure this ficcer's been watching the same show I have. The characters are almost unrecognizable, the plot unworkable and the canon has been thrown out the window. The writing's poor, too. You do realize the series is 1. about assassins and 2. set in Japan?

Lethal: This fic is a mess. A real mess. Shit characterization, an incoherent plot, wholesale canon-rape and, as the icing on the awful-cake, terrible presentation. This fic is - and I use the term advisedly - positively toxic, so much so it's hilariously funny... but for all the WRONG reasons.

an open letter to an outraged fanficcer:

Dear Fanficcer,

I'm sorry if you are offended to discover that I am publicly mocking your monstrosity story. However, you were the one who chose to put your work into the public domain. I didn't make you post your story online; you were the one who chose to do that. Once you post online, you relinquish any control over who gets to see it. Consider this a form of feedback. No, maybe it's not the feedback you wanted, but that's just too bad. You were the one who thought you were ready for a wider audience than yourself and your teddy bear. If you can't handle the fact that not everyone in that wider audience will like your work, and that some of them may go so far as to tell you, you're obviously not ready for it after all.

Yes, I have written garbage in my time. My early fics were brain-explodingly stupid. My Mary Sues were pretty, perfectful walking wangst factories and so shiny and overloaded with speshul they made strong canon characters break down weeping. No, I am not obliged to show you my juvenilia, or any of my fic for that matter. The difference between you and me is that deep down I understood that my writing stunk and refrained from pushing it on the rest of the world. You, however, decided your puerile scribblings were works of genius and thought the entire world needed to share in your genius rather then keeping them safely in your notebooks or on your own PCs, which is where works like this belong. I have files full of crap I wrote as a teenager, but aside from my co-culprit and myself, nobody ever saw it. Because we - get this - KNEW we were writing crap.

Now I've said that, I'd like to clear a few points up.

First and foremost: you cannot sue me, so don't bother threatening me with it. I have posted extracts of your story, but I'm perfectly within my rights to. I am not reposting the entire thing or claiming I actually wrote your crappy fic. Now that would be plagiarism. Reposting extracts and crediting the author, which I have taken pains to do, is not - and, incidentally, this isn't against Livejournal's Terms of Service either. Secondly I think your writing blows, but I'm within my rights to do so. This right is known as 'freedom of speech'. Thirdly, I don't care how old or otherwise you are, I don't care if you're writing to blow off emotional angst (we all have problems, honey: it's called living), I don't give a damn how popular you are, if you or your sockpuppets think you're the best writer ever or if P.L. Nunn said your fic was teh kewlies - badfic is badfic whoever wrote it and that is absolutely all that matters. Finally, I do not have to be nice to you. I'm not giving concrit here. There are plenty of people out there who are quite prepared to beta read your work, smack the Sue out of your OCs and give you advice on how to hone your skills. I, however, have set out with the express purpose of administering the smackdown Weiss badfic so dearly deserves and if you think I'm mean, I'm nothing on the average editor. I'm not even one of the nastier breed of fic critic - I will, in the course of administering said smackdown, have explained what I didn't like about your fic and suggested ways you could improve it. I will never say a fic sucked without providing ten reasons - and more, if your fic has a resident Sue - for why I thought so. I am, however, not going to pretend your fic has redeeming features if it doesn't. I am not your mother. If you want uncritical praise, talk to her.

Once again - no, I am NOT OBLIGATED to show you my own fanfiction. Yes, I write Weiss fanfic. Yes, it's in the public domain. Yes, I have a profile at the Pit of Voles. No, I am not going to tell you my username (honestly, my disguise isn't that fiendishly impenetrable). I want my writing judged on its merits, not because of something I said on a badfic site which you now want revenge for.

And no, I'm not getting at you personally. I am not flaming you, harassing you or stalking you. Why would I? I've never met you. You're probably a perfectly nice person. We have similar interests and similar taste in anime boys and if we met up anywhere else we might well get along. I am critiquing your writing, not you personally. I DO NOT HATE YOU. I hate the fact that you are violating my fandom with your badfic. You, and people like you, are the reason I have to wade through piles of poorly-written nonsense to find a single decent fic. You're the ones who give the fandom a reputation for spawning complete crap - but that's the only reason I'm interested in you and even then it won't be for long. In a couple of days I'll be talking about something completely different and in a week I'll have forgotten all about you and your master work - if, of course, you don't do anything to make me remember you. Stop taking everything so personally and get over it. If you're too thin-skinned to handle the fact that someone out there is laughing at something you wrote you're much too thin-skinned to be writing. If one person telling it like it is 'destroyed your dream', you obviously didn't want it that badly anyway. Have you seen the kind of things that people say about the work of published authors?

Thank you.


Got a bad fic to report? Want to propose marriage or tell me how much I suck? Leave a comment, or email thewhitehuntress@googlemail.com. I will make every effort to answer all my comments, as far as real life (including my current tendency toward deeply insecure emotastic crappiness) doesn't preclude it. Flames are liable to be snarked over and posted.

Want to add weiss_badfics to your friends list? Feel free. I always add back, though I don't check my profile page as often as I ought so it may take me a while to notice you...

Incidentally, journal posts are heavily tagged for ease of searching. A list of current entry tags can be found here.